School is back in session and summer is slowly (extremely hot still) but surely turning to Fall. With pages upon pages of back-to-school pictures of happy kiddos and life wisdom, I’ve discovered a trend I’m not cool with. Overall lesson of this article is don’t teach your daughters to be friendly with everyone.
I viewed countless articles and posts where mothers are encouraging and teaching their daughters (only daughters, never sons??) to be friendly, inclusive, nice, polite, and talk and sit with everyone.
The idea is amazing. Our kindness changes the world and ends loneliness for humanity.
But there’s one problem.
We don’t live in an idealistic world where this theory works. In fact, it’s often violent and deadly.
I remember growing up, being taught this same exact thing until it was ingrained into my very well being. I’ve heard the same countless stories from my dear friends and women online, sharing their same experiences on being polite and overly nice.
I still see this “wisdom” passed down from mother to daughter.
Now I believe in kindness and basic respect for our fellow humans. Obviously being rude and mean is not cool or smiled upon, and for very good reasons. If you think being rude or mean is cool just because you have an inferior complex, then please let me destroy your ego. But that’s for another day.
Unfortunately we live in a dangerous world, and I absolutely hate fear-mongering but reinforcing women to be overly friendly is a not-so-great idea.
Why Women Shouldn’t be so Friendly
For one, women WEREN’T created to be a bubble of niceness. Let me repeat this! We weren’t placed on this planet to ease the world’s giant ego and befriend everyone. So don’t let people shame you for being an “ice queen” or not smiling.
Two, women end up in terrible situations because they were nice and friendly to the wrong person. All people aren’t genuine or safe.
- Remember the loner you told your daughter to sit with at school? Well he ended up stalking and raping her because she wouldn’t date him.
- Remember the odd girl you told your daughter to include in her circle? Well she developed an obsession and bullied her to suicide.
- Remember the one weird guy you told your daughter to smile at? Well he shot her first because she was the only one who smiled at him.
- Remember the one cute guy you told your best friend to date because he seemed nice? Well ended up abusing her for many years because she was the only one who put up with his violence.
Moral Lesson of the Story
Now I don’t believe in a victim mentality. Women shouldn’t be scared of the world, nor should we teach fear to our daughters. But don’t teach your daughters to be friendly to everyone in this world.
A woman is not any less kind or genuine because she doesn’t outwardly show it.
I’m not outwardly a friendly person. People often think I’m “snobby” or stuck up because I don’t overkill on the niceness. I don’t smile or say hello to strangers, and I don’t approach or talk to people just because they appear lonely.
But I’m the kindest, genuine person you’ll ever meet, and I’ll listen to your stories without shame or judgement. If I ask “how are you?” it’s because I want to hear how you really are. I don’t want to hear a generic “I’m fine.” I want to hear you!
So what are your thoughts on this article? Do you agree or disagree? I’d love to hear your reasons!